“There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.” ~Christopher Morley
Stop living your life for others, live your life for you. Selfish? Not even close. It’s the most self-less act you will ever partake in. Until you take care of you, you cannot take care of anyone else. Until you become true to yourself, own your inner and outer beauty, stop living your life with fears and excuses and follow the path you have been dreaming of, you will continue to feel held back and struggle with self-doubt, guilt, shame, frustration, poor body image, self-destructive behaviors and self-sabotage.
For many, food has become a powerful coping mechanism for dealing with negative emotions, fears, self-doubt, lack of support, loneliness, self-hatred and yes, even success. It is easy to find, socially acceptable to consume and no one will judge you for grocery shopping, dining at a restaurant or getting take-out. For some, food has become the socially acceptable version of drugs and alcohol.
If you drink vodka in the morning is someone going to judge you? Probably.
If you eat cake in the morning, is someone going to judge you? Probably not. It’s called a muffin! 😉
I have often told my clients with unhealthy coping skills that it was those same self-destructive behaviors that probably kept them going and perhaps even saved their life on many occasions. Without having a method to cope with pain, they may not have been able to function at all. Developing unhealthy coping skills is no one’s fault – it just is. However, a time will always come when those behaviors will cause more pain than the reasons you developed them to begin with. Once you start to hit your bottom, you soon recognize that your skills are no longer serving you and its time to move on and change.
So, how does the healing begin?
The good news is, it can begin as soon as you make the decision to do the work around resolving it.
The bad news is, you need to make the decision to do the work around resolving it. 😉
Accepting that this is a problem and making the commitment to do the work is the hardest part. Once you fully commit and are willing to do whatever it takes, the rest will fall into place. However, you must do the work – you can’t sit back and just wish or hope that a program will work – you must commit to the process and do the work. You need to unlearn this behavior and replace it with positive, productive coping strategies that work for you.